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Goodbyes

PF Legge

Updated: Jun 11, 2021

Its cold out. Like it gets in winter in Canada. And now, that has become something to argue about, which is irritating. I think we would be better off if we just said, ‘jeez, its cold out’ instead of blaming climate change or refuting it. Everything that happens isn’t a lesson. We used to live under those constraints a few centuries ago. I, for one, do not want to go back. Religiosity at its worst.

I went to a friend’s funeral today. He was a contemporary of mine. He had a wife, children, family and friends. Yet he lost his struggle. A very sad day. And on one level, I was glad to attend.

It was an especially painful service because his life ended in an undramatic and difficult way. The eulogy was well done, with just enough humour and pathos. Always a daunting task in the circumstances. The priest did not know him, which made his sermon slightly awkward. But he spoke confidently and kept it moving. The music was enthusiastic but not professional. Typical of most churches these days. And yet, above all, it was the witness to his life and his loved one’s loss that we were there for. Traditional funerals give us the chance to do that. So many times now I read in the obituaries, ‘x has been cremated, a private service will be held at a later date’. No where or when for friends and family to meet and commemorate the person, their life and their loss. As if the person was an email, that was just deleted. Nothing here anymore. Move on.

That is not what happened today.

There was a moment at the end of the service, when the words had been spoken and the songs sung. The pall bearers gathered. The church went silent. We watched as the family did as the coffin was lifted off the runners and carried into the bright cold sunshine. It was quiet, somber, respectful and very sad. A final goodbye. I think my friend, with all his faults, deserved that moment and so did his loved ones. I am thankful we got the chance to be there for him, and them.

Have yourself a great week.


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